by Art Toy
I would like to offer some personal thoughts on the significance of Memorial Day. As a young enlisted airman with the Michigan Air National Guard, fresh out of advanced training and back at my home airbase, I was placed under the supervision of an number of seasoned non-commission officers who were to be my mentors, trainers and, ultimately good friends These NCO's contributed to my growth and provided me with insights based on their personal experiences, many of which were from their tours in Vietnam.These NCO's taught me the real world aspects of what a ground forward controller needs to do that went beyond the textbook world of the school lesson plan. These NCOs taught me the nuts and bolts of how to direct air strikes. Ironically, the longest lasting and-most vivid lesson was not about the rudiments of directing close air support, but rather the importance of friendship loyalty and sacrifice.
Several years later, as a member of the Michigan National Guard Marksmanship team, I had the opportunity to represent Michigan at various pistol, rifle, and light machine gun competitions throughout the country. Our team was in Springfield, IL, at a regional small arms competition at the same time that the traveling Vietnam Memorial was also in town. As fate would have it, one of my original NCO trainers was also on the team and he suggested that we go and visit the Wall after the competition.
At The Wall, my friend and mentor spoke with pride and reverence as he pointed out the names of his infantry buddies he had served during his two tours of duty in Vietnam.
His matter of fact manner stopped abruptly when he spotted a name on the Wall and he began to cry uncontrollably. I felt extremely awkward seeing and hearing someone whom I considered a rock of strength and courage cry with such abandonment. How was this name any different from the many others whom he recognized and explains how they were killed in action in matter of fact fashion?
Though his eyes were swollen and tearful. he explained that on The Wall was that of a buddy in his former Infantry Platoon. This man was wounded when the helicopter they were riding in landed in a hot LZ. The last my friend saw of his injured he was being transported out. It was normal practice for information to filter back of a death, but in this case there was no word.
With the constant rotation of troops, it was assumed that the wound was not fatal and that his buddy had either recovered and was reassigned or was shipped stateside for further care, as was the case for the severely wounded.
For almost twenty years my friend lived with the belief that his buddy was alive somewhere and that they would reunite someday at some reunion of their Infantry Division, the Big Red One. As it would turn out , this would not be so. My only instinct was to comfort him with a hug and to simply listen to him say over and over how he had thought his friend was alive all these year. I guess that, in his mind, his buddy had just passed away at that moment and not years in the past.
There was a crowd of people in the area surrounding the traveling Vietnam Memorial, yet there seemed to be a universal understanding among everyone present that a veteran had just reconnected with the past, a past where friendships, memories and experiences were permanently burned into the psyche.
Many years have since past and the world has experienced many more losses in the lives of American service personnel. I now serve as an Artillery Officer with the Army National Guard following a period of active duty in the Air Guard preparing for deployment to the Persian Gulf in support of Desert Shield / Storm.
Through all these years I have been fortunate enough not to lose a friend in war, yet I have gained a deeper appreciation of what effect friendship, loyalty and sacrifice can have on a human being in war.
Even now my former Unit, the 110th Fighter Group based in Battle Creek has just left for the Balkans on a nine month deployment. Many friends and colleagues are on their way overseas to an unknown fate. I have spoken with some of the personnel and have wished the Godspeed as well as a safe return to home.
So what does this all lead up to? Well I hope that you will take a moment to listen to a Veteran if he or she is compelled by an inner voice to open up. Please do not turn a deaf ear to them, because it would be an honor and privilege to become for just a moment a trusted ear for a fellow Veteran who may be a stranger, a friend or a loved one.
I hope you will do this, regardless of whether or not it is Memorial Day.
Art Toy is a Platoon Leader of an Army National Guard Artillery unit in Albion, MI. He lives in Paw Paw.
